Monday, May 3, 2010

Make Up Your Mind Already!

What is a person to do? On the very same day I received two pieces of mail. They were conflicted. One was from "The Scooter Store" with a "hook" line on one side: "Feel like yourself again."

Strange, but I think I normally "feel like" myself. I should ask my husband to give me a hug, maybe and see if he thinks I still feel like I usually do. Did. Once did 10, 15, 20, 40 however many years ago. I'm sure he would begin with one of those questioning, brows-knit-together kind of looks. You know the kind I'm talking about.

Then, the second piece of mail was from Gerber Life Insurance Company. Their "hook" was on the front: "Help secure a brighter tomorrow for you child today." As all my children are adults, and each has their own set of issues to deal with in this strange economic, wild, weird political world we live in, I surely would like to "help secure a brighter tomorrow" for each of them, but, HEY! They're adults. It's they're job now, doncha think?

Another thought flashed in my mind!!! Oh, no! Does Gerber Life Insurance Company know something I don't know? Is there a possibility I'm pregnant again? I mean, the other day when I was having x-rays, the tech did ask if there was any possibility of my being pregnant.

What's a woman to do? At my age, with children in their 20s and30s, it COULD be possible. I did meet and visit with a woman who gave birth to only two children--who were 34 years apart . . .

Should I go buy an EPT kit now? Should I wait for Mother Nature to give me some sign? Stranger things have happened, I've been told.

The ad people should just get together and stop trying to make me conflicted. Am I so old I need a scooter to get me from place to place? Or am I so young that I need to consider buying life insurance for a new baby? I don't know what to do!!! Is the sky falling? Would I need a scooter if I had another baby? For me? For the child? For my poor husband who might have a virtual heart attack if I told him we're going to have another baby? (It was weird enough being pregnant at 48, let me tell you. It was a "blighted ovum" so we don't currently have a brand new teenager. I probably would need a scooter or something to get me through each day, if that were the case.)

Should I panic? Have a day at the spa to sort through all this advertisement overload? (Not that I've ever been to a spa, but who's asking?) What would you do? Buy the scooter AND the baby life insurance? Help!


Bob said...

Toss both ads into File 13 and go for a walk, to the spa, or whatever will make you "feel like yourself!"

Pencil Writer said...

Yeah, I just had one of those "oh, NO!" moments, but I keep truckin' on as best I can, and had to laugh at the funny, contradictory ads. Hope you and your family missed all that terrible flooding! Man! That was/is some terrible stuff to deal with!