For the last two weeks, more particularly the last 8 days, I have been more physically busy for LONG hours each day than I can remember. I thought that as we aged we'd get to a point when the burdens got a little lighter. WRONG! And, I suppose that it's a good thing! If I am still able to work hard physically, perhaps I won't just fade into a nursing home existance!!! in the future. Here's hoping.
I am grateful that I'm able to do this this kind of work. Husband and I each drove over 1500 miles (in three days--he in the U-Haul and I in our pickup) and then worked like a steveadores--along with some help from a couple of strong, hardworking young Brazillian guys our daughter knows--before and afterwards, have been furiously unpacking all those zillion boxes I packed, and have been trying to make some order out of chaos for my daughter and her little ones. (Daughter is working furiously to finish this semester and graduate. Six more days and she should reach her goal!) Together my husband and I have been in the thick of it all--(thank Heaven!!!) while we've tried to help the little ones feel like there will be more order in their lives (soon) along with the love, and comfort that were there when they lived with us.
However, last night the exhaustion level along with the knowledge that we have so much more to do in too short of a period of time, triggered the sneeky, creeping tendrils of self-pity working themselves into my thinking and feelings bginning to stifle my original feelings of accomplishing worthy goals. They began twisting themselves fairly effectively into my thoughts until I remembered this phrase in the Scriptures: "when you are in the service of your fellow beings, you are only in the service of your God." I chatised myself a little and and allowed the "blam of Gilead" to soothe me before I took up my Scriptures and read a little realising that God is always watching over us, is mindful of each and every trial and tribulation we might experience and is always there to assist when we can't go it alone. For that, I am daily and eternally grateful.
I also remembered that I'll be stronger for each physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual mountain I climb--even if I slip down a notch or two here and there--IF I keep striving to go forward. Christ certainly had the most diffiuclt path to follow of any human being. He somehow experienced every pain, every illness, and endured the consequences of each and every sin each and every one of God's child have or ever will commit--so He knows first hand how we feel and He conquered it all! It amazes me beyond belief that He loves us all enough to have endured all that. And knowing that He conquered all and is there and willing to help me conquer all my challenges gives me courage to press forward. It also helps me realize how puny my challenges are in comparrison!
I'm going to miss my daughter and her three little ones terribly when we have to leave. I seriously want to have my family--all my family--close. We'll see where the Lord directs us in the days to come! In the meantime, I know He'll be watching over them, and me, and the rest of my family. And everyone else, too! That knowledge is what lifts me up and gives me joy! Even in the midst of my challenges!